A Time to be Independent

Sometimes it just doesn’t do to lean on other people to keep yourself upright. Some people take the time to learn how to balance themselves and to stand on their own, while others skip the process entirely and instead burden their peers with their weight. There are so many things that we could call this; indolence, dependence, even self-centeredness.

In my opinion, these people are the ones who get in the way of progress. They disrupt the whole productive and meaningful process that we call life, and multiply to dominate the population and thus create an inferior race. Harsh? I don’t think so. Just honest.

Recently, a friend of mine – one of the few remaining intellects in the enormous joke that we call school – was kicked out of his class for what his [incredibly dense] professor called, “assaulting” the presenters.

The situation had been simple enough. The group had been assigned a topic to report on, and my friend had naturally wanted to benefit from the report. He could not see the relevance of the information being presented, and therefore asked reasonable questions to clarify the presenting group’s point. No provocative language had been used, nor did his tone of voice imply any sort of violence or intention to “assault”. However his questioning of the presenters, according to the professor, was out of line; and my friend had been asked to leave the class permanently.

I find this disturbing. First of all, it was an assigned presentation. The topic was given, and so was the time constraint. Now if these students had been responsible, then they would have done their research properly and made sure they understood the subject matter thoroughly; because how are you supposed to teach people something that you yourself can hardly comprehend?

Second of all, the professor should have intervened if she found any student’s approach offensive. She should have then explained the answer herself in order to clarify the matter and eliminate whatever issue had arisen from the offending question. And did it ever occur to this professor that if those students had done their research properly then they might not have looked like a bunch of goggling idiots when asked questions that were completely relevant?

The real world is a bitch; this is just practice. These people rely too much on the chance that the professor is just going to let it slip that they are totally ignorant regarding what their topic is about, and further disregard the fact that all they did was paste a bunch of seemingly relevant information from Wikipedia. Keywords: seemingly relevant.

I doubt if people like this will make it very far in what everyone calls “the real world.” Because in this so-called real world, independence seems to be the primary factor that answers the question of whether or not we will survive; with “survival” being the attainment of our goals and contentment in life.

Our generation continues to disappoint me, as I am sure it does everyone else who gives thought to matters like these. I have a feeling that the seemingly insignificant behavior and downfalls of the people around us – the people of our generation – translates into more than just individual disappointments.

But who knows these things anyway, right…?

On People and Change

Everyone is unique. We all have our individual personalities that basically define who we are. It determines the way in which we socialize, and our own approaches in relating to people. It also very subtly determines who we mingle with, and who can and cannot put up with us.

The question is this: can people change?

I often hear people talking about changing their significant-others, or even changing for their significant-others. I’m sure you’ve heard about those. Honestly, who hasn’t? It’s a bit pathetic in my opinion. And let me clarify why I think so lowly of the idea.

You cannot change people. Period. You know why? Because people in general do not change. It just doesn’t work that way.

As much as we would like to think that we mean enough to someone to actually change their outlook and convince them to alter their personality, the concept of it is total crap.

Again you ask why. But instead of further bashing the idea, I will give an example.

Let’s say I have a boyfriend. We’ll call him John. John is a sex-obsessed crack-head. I stick with him because my friends use the ever-popular myth to convince me that I can change him. But it doesn’t matter how much I try to change John, because he will always be a sex-obsessed crack-head. The most he can possibly do is suppress his obsession for sex, which will most probably result in an increase of smoking-up and possibly even an increase in masturbation.

God, I learned so much in economics.

My point is that John will still be the same sex-obsessed crack-head at the end of the line (just probably more distressed than he was initially).

Now I’ve made my point, so let’s move on to people voluntarily changing for others. It’s all still the same concept. If you say that you’re going to change for someone, you are mostly just fooling yourself. A change may occur, but since it is only for the pleasure of others, this type of change will be – undoubtedly – temporary.

Some people appear to change when the meet the “right person.” Most of the time, it is only because the character of the significant-other compensates for the lack-of-character of the subject. I’m pretty sure that this is why we get a false impression of change in some people. But in reality, they’re all the same idiots; only our perception changes.

Of course, all of this is purely theoretical and based on my own observations of people. If you choose to agree with me, then welcome to the club. If, however, you think that all this “change for the sake of love” may actually be a reality, then please spare me and get your ass to the back of the short bus.

People only change when life-and-death types of circumstances require that change. What works better than scaring people shitless? Of course, nothing! Change for the sake of love is a myth in my opinion. It’s just not going to happen. Ask your boyfriends. They’ll agree. I’ll have fans.

I’m a cynic, I know. I learned from the best.

We're All Just A Bunch of Walking Contradictions

I think it is ironic how people in general tend to make decisions that go against their morals. I have seen so many cases of it; I’ve even been one of those people more often than not. It is due to my recent realization of this that I decided to write on this particular topic.

Why do we do things we know are wrong? Why do we stick with people we know we’re going to hurt in the end? And why, why is it that we insist on always being right?

As far as answering these questions, I can only go so far as to speculate. I assume that we do things we know are wrong because we believe that somehow the circumstances may alter. In fact, we hope that we’ll have a change of perspective that will result in something good; possibly even something that will make us happy.

We stick with people we know we’re only going to hurt in the end because we can’t bear the thought of hurting them now, and we reason with ourselves that in the future, this task will be made easier for us. Of course, most of the time we only end up hurting them more; and later realize that we’ve wasted their time as well as our own. But even in knowing and having experienced this, when similar situations arise we make the same choices and expect things to turn out better this time.

It was a wise man who said that stupidity is doing the exact same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result each time.

However, stupidity is inevitable. And it is also human nature. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much experience we’ve had, because the appropriate solution is so much more agonizing than the contemptible alternative.

Why do we always insist on being right? I’d have to say that it is most likely because we prefer to believe that we are right, because it is more comforting than accepting that we were mistaken from the very beginning. As shallow as this may seem, I’m pretty sure we’re all guilty of it.

You know you’re wrong but insist on being right for the sake of your pride. It’s not uncommon, and if you look at it in a certain way you’ll realize that we’re all just a bunch of walking contradictions.

...Or maybe it’s just me.

He "Can't Fuck a Brain"

Just recently I had a conversation with a few guy friends about what men and women find attractive in the opposite sex. Not surprisingly, they ended up laughing at the fact that some girls actually find intelligence attractive in men. As animated as this conversation was at first, it turned out to be quite a frustrating one in the end.

Eventually they started mentioning names of people they found attractive, and it just so happened that I knew a few of those people so I openly acknowledged the fact that those girls were very smart too.

The response? I’m sure you’ve seen the title of this Blog entry, and therefore have no need to wonder what reaction I got. I give him credit for being honest at most.

It is hard to ignore the fact that people can be so superficial, and I do not only mean this about men. Why can’t people look beyond the physical and appreciate others for their perceptions or individuality, instead of constantly thinking about sex?

I’m not saying that I am not attracted by good looks or a great body, but what I am trying to say is that you can like someone for their physical and mental attributes. These things are relative, not absolute: meaning you can actually be good looking, charming, and intelligent all at once.

It's disappointing that there are people who are that shallow, or pretend to be that shallow around their friends. Hopefully nature ebbs the remaining monkey brain cells next time humans evolve. Maybe then people would start thinking less like animals.

Feeble Endeavors of the Intellectually Constipated

I've been wondering a lot about people lately. Why is it that everyone wants to get a piece of everyone else’s life? Why can’t people mind their own goddamn business, or manage their own miserable lives instead of prying into the lives of others?

If you’re human, you probably understand exactly what my point is in writing this Blog entry. If you don’t, then please crawl back into your hole 'til someone beats the ignorance out of you. Coz uh, REALITY CHECK: the people of the world are pretty pathetic. I will not exclude myself. We all have our moments. But let's focus on the ones who are more consistently dense.

Like a few months ago there was this Christian lady with her Holy Crusade who was trying to get Harry Potter books banned in all public schools in the States. According to her, those books were the cause of the Columbine shootings and the Virginia Tech massacre.

It’s not really the banning of the books that bothered me, but her lame attempts to be a bible-thumping frickin’ hero. Because if you look at it logically, Harry Potter books have gotten millions or even billions of kids to read who probably would not have read in the first place. Now if kids can’t tell the difference between fiction and reality, then their parents obviously are not raising them the way they should. But what ticks me even more is the fact that this nut job of a Christian admittedly has not even read any of the books. How perverse is that?

My point has been made. We encounter people like this every single day. I’ve realized lately that I’ve been dealing with them the wrong way. Getting annoyed won’t do anything. And insulting them won’t alter the circumstances, so we might as well recognize what these people are made for: simply for the amusement of the more intellectually fortunate people like us...

Freshies meet senior.

Everyone’s so morbid today. What is it with people? Like some of the freshies in my school for instance, instead of trying to socialize and actually make them selves known when the opportunity presents itself, they would rather desperately avoid your gaze by staring blankly at the oh-so-interesting white board – which was blank, in case you were wondering.

Not that I care if they talk to me or not, but things like this make me wonder about freshies. And I had this idea that if their group- the freshies’ race- was permanent (meaning they all stay that way for good), they’d all go extinct.

This concludes my observation for the day.

The Future

I constantly wonder what will happen to me in the future. It bugs me that my life has no apparent direction so far. Here I go speculating again. As far as I know (and possibly a lot of other people too) we’re supposed to graduate from high school, find something we’re interested in to pursue in a university, pass all our classes, and then get kicked into the real world. Well, that doesn’t sound very fun at all, does it?

I feel like I’m venturing into the unknown. It’s thrilling in a way, but the thought of the real world never fails to scare me. I feel helpless, like somehow it’s going to be me against the world; and lately the world is looking particularly cruel.

Not that I don’t know what I want in life, coz I have a somewhat hazy idea of what I want to do for a living, but my thoughts seem more focused on what happens if I don’t get there. What do I have to fall back on? Everything else just seems to bore me. And mind you, I get bored very easily.

It's just absurd how things always seem to turn out differently from how we expect them to be. Nothing is ever really certain, and that takes away a lot of my sense of security for the future. Hopefully things turn out the way I'd like them to, but for now I can only speculate and work harder towards what I want... And hope that everything will be OK.

A Glimpse of Reality

What is destiny? From the way people talk about it, it's as if there's this airborne force attracting one being to another. Destined for each other: how cliche is that? I don't know how many times I've heard people talk about destiny, but if I got a cent for every single time the topic was adopted I'd be an extremely rich woman.

What's my point anyway? Well lately I realized something. You're going to have to deal with my beating-around-the-bush though, before I get to my actual point. I'm sure everyone is aware of that idealistic view or perception of "the one." To sound less like a cheeseball, lets use another term: our "type." I would define a "type" as an ideal or a set standard for a possible mate. Yes, mate: like the National Geographic kind.

So we all have a type. Well I always had this standard set in my mind. I've always known what I wanted, or what kind of person I wanted. Then I met someone who fit exactly into my set standards. He was exactly my "type." But there was no attraction at all, whatsoever. And I realized that my "type" is not my type at all. And upon bringing this up with other people, I discovered that I was not the only one who felt this way.

Now my question is, do we even have a say in all this attraction mumbo jumbo? Or is it the work of that airborne force called destiny? Am I destined to fall in love with some blockhead from high school and have 23 kids? Not likely. I think it's a misunderstanding of our own judgment that causes these things to happen. Our perception is clouded by what we want to believe is ideal for us, and all the while we're unaware of what it is we actually want. And then when it so happens that we DO get what we want, we don't want it anymore. Typical, of course: we are insatiable human beings.

Anyhow, I don't believe in destiny. According to this documentary I watched, all existing things and feelings, etc are made of energy, and energy can be manipulated by will of mind according to the law of attraction. And therefore, we determine our own fate or destiny by willing it in our minds. It makes sense if you actually think about it, and if you do the research or watch the documentary (Get it: The Secret).

So maybe optimism isn't so bad. Maybe whoever introduced that point of view had something going for him/her. Funny how things work out, and how reality can bite you in the ass.