Sunday, July 15, 2007

On People and Change

Everyone is unique. We all have our individual personalities that basically define who we are. It determines the way in which we socialize, and our own approaches in relating to people. It also very subtly determines who we mingle with, and who can and cannot put up with us.

The question is this: can people change?

I often hear people talking about changing their significant-others, or even changing for their significant-others. I’m sure you’ve heard about those. Honestly, who hasn’t? It’s a bit pathetic in my opinion. And let me clarify why I think so lowly of the idea.

You cannot change people. Period. You know why? Because people in general do not change. It just doesn’t work that way.

As much as we would like to think that we mean enough to someone to actually change their outlook and convince them to alter their personality, the concept of it is total crap.

Again you ask why. But instead of further bashing the idea, I will give an example.

Let’s say I have a boyfriend. We’ll call him John. John is a sex-obsessed crack-head. I stick with him because my friends use the ever-popular myth to convince me that I can change him. But it doesn’t matter how much I try to change John, because he will always be a sex-obsessed crack-head. The most he can possibly do is suppress his obsession for sex, which will most probably result in an increase of smoking-up and possibly even an increase in masturbation.

God, I learned so much in economics.

My point is that John will still be the same sex-obsessed crack-head at the end of the line (just probably more distressed than he was initially).

Now I’ve made my point, so let’s move on to people voluntarily changing for others. It’s all still the same concept. If you say that you’re going to change for someone, you are mostly just fooling yourself. A change may occur, but since it is only for the pleasure of others, this type of change will be – undoubtedly – temporary.

Some people appear to change when the meet the “right person.” Most of the time, it is only because the character of the significant-other compensates for the lack-of-character of the subject. I’m pretty sure that this is why we get a false impression of change in some people. But in reality, they’re all the same idiots; only our perception changes.

Of course, all of this is purely theoretical and based on my own observations of people. If you choose to agree with me, then welcome to the club. If, however, you think that all this “change for the sake of love” may actually be a reality, then please spare me and get your ass to the back of the short bus.

People only change when life-and-death types of circumstances require that change. What works better than scaring people shitless? Of course, nothing! Change for the sake of love is a myth in my opinion. It’s just not going to happen. Ask your boyfriends. They’ll agree. I’ll have fans.

I’m a cynic, I know. I learned from the best.

1 comment:

scheli said...

hayy kat. lol

i don't fully agree with this one, but like u said, i'll save it and "get my ass to the back of the short bus". =( lol.

what i will say though is:
changing for someone really is CRAP. totally agree with you there.
but changing because of someone is different. and good when the change is, of course, for the better.
i'm positive u see the difference between both types of "change". obviously and to put it simple: the first is pilit, the other isn't.
and that can happen in love. i swear.
think about it muna.

am not arguing with you ha? opinion ko lang. and just trying to show you another side... parang kasi u have such a fixed idea about it na eh..

btw, when was the last time u had a bf? u know, as in a real serious relationship.. one that was worthy of your time..? a guy u actually and really loved?
just curious ;)

and pls do me a favor?
write another blog entry on this very same topic again when the time comes that you've found someone you really love...
YOUR MAN.
your one true love (how mushy).
your "The One".
a relationship you want to last a lifetime.

sana pagbigyan mo ako sa request ko ha? ;)
i don't care how long it'll take, basta i'll wait for it. =)

just because i'm not agreeing with you 100% this time doesn't make this a less-genius entry. i'm sure you'd have fans talaga.
and it doesn't make ME less of a fan. that would make me a clone of you if i always totally agreed with you, now wouldn't it?

god, i wrote a lot!!! tama na nga!
i'm bored din kc eh =( trying to kill time in order to finally get sleepy; 6am na and i'm still wide awake! wala paring tulog ='(
grabe, certified insomniac.

basta, i enjoy reading ALL entries of yours all the way. basta ikaw ;p
amwuah! more power kat! hehe.