On People and Change

Everyone is unique. We all have our individual personalities that basically define who we are. It determines the way in which we socialize, and our own approaches in relating to people. It also very subtly determines who we mingle with, and who can and cannot put up with us.

The question is this: can people change?

I often hear people talking about changing their significant-others, or even changing for their significant-others. I’m sure you’ve heard about those. Honestly, who hasn’t? It’s a bit pathetic in my opinion. And let me clarify why I think so lowly of the idea.

You cannot change people. Period. You know why? Because people in general do not change. It just doesn’t work that way.

As much as we would like to think that we mean enough to someone to actually change their outlook and convince them to alter their personality, the concept of it is total crap.

Again you ask why. But instead of further bashing the idea, I will give an example.

Let’s say I have a boyfriend. We’ll call him John. John is a sex-obsessed crack-head. I stick with him because my friends use the ever-popular myth to convince me that I can change him. But it doesn’t matter how much I try to change John, because he will always be a sex-obsessed crack-head. The most he can possibly do is suppress his obsession for sex, which will most probably result in an increase of smoking-up and possibly even an increase in masturbation.

God, I learned so much in economics.

My point is that John will still be the same sex-obsessed crack-head at the end of the line (just probably more distressed than he was initially).

Now I’ve made my point, so let’s move on to people voluntarily changing for others. It’s all still the same concept. If you say that you’re going to change for someone, you are mostly just fooling yourself. A change may occur, but since it is only for the pleasure of others, this type of change will be – undoubtedly – temporary.

Some people appear to change when the meet the “right person.” Most of the time, it is only because the character of the significant-other compensates for the lack-of-character of the subject. I’m pretty sure that this is why we get a false impression of change in some people. But in reality, they’re all the same idiots; only our perception changes.

Of course, all of this is purely theoretical and based on my own observations of people. If you choose to agree with me, then welcome to the club. If, however, you think that all this “change for the sake of love” may actually be a reality, then please spare me and get your ass to the back of the short bus.

People only change when life-and-death types of circumstances require that change. What works better than scaring people shitless? Of course, nothing! Change for the sake of love is a myth in my opinion. It’s just not going to happen. Ask your boyfriends. They’ll agree. I’ll have fans.

I’m a cynic, I know. I learned from the best.